Jesus Talks To The Pope

Jesus:  Pope Benedict, this is your lord speaking.

Pope:  Did you get an appointment?

Jesus:  Since when did I need an appointment? Don't bother to answer the rhetorical question.

Pope:  Please cut to a short message. I'm on a recruiting mission in Africa and I'm tired.

Jesus:  I want to clarify my message and your mission. When I commisioned the original apostles to help the poor and sick I didn't say to PERPETUATE the poor and sick.

Pope:  Say what?

Jesus:  Condoms are the way to go. It's a humane way to mitigate the growth of the poor and sick.

Pope:  Well it's this way now. When you were last here there was only a few of your followers. Now the church has grown and we need more of poor and sick people to spread amongst the new gullable recruits. I.E. we need more of the poor and sick to open a yawning gap of people to make this church, which has become a quasi financial derivative incarnation of your teachings to survive. I want swarms of starving and sickly and mad people behind me who have nothing to lose so that I can march on the capitols of the world and reestablish a kind of new shoddy type of Roman Empire based on the base motivations of mankind.

Jesus:  Now I finally see what Satan was talking about.