Jesus Talks To The Pope

Jesus:  Pope Benedict, this is your lord speaking.

Pope:  Did you get an appointment?

Jesus:  Since when did I need an appointment? Don't bother to answer the rhetorical question.

Pope:  Please cut to a short message. I'm on a recruiting mission in Africa and I'm tired.

Jesus:  I want to clarify my message and your mission. When I commisioned the original apostles to help the poor and sick I didn't say to PERPETUATE the poor and sick.

Pope:  Say what?

Jesus:  Condoms are the way to go. It's a humane way to mitigate the growth of the poor and sick.

Pope:  Well it's this way now. When you were last here there was only a few of your followers. Now the church has grown and we need more of poor and sick people to spread amongst the new gullable recruits. I.E. we need more of the poor and sick to open a yawning gap of people to make this church, which has become a quasi financial derivative incarnation of your teachings to survive. I want swarms of starving and sickly and mad people behind me who have nothing to lose so that I can march on the capitols of the world and reestablish a kind of new shoddy type of Roman Empire based on the base motivations of mankind.

Jesus:  Now I finally see what Satan was talking about.

Grinning, Spending Monkeys Buy Huge Headline

The grinning, spending monkeys in Washington have achieved their professional goal of appearing to do good. The $828 billion stimulus bill has got them their headline. They have achieved the politicians refuge and safe postion of the many voting in favor so that no one individually will hang.

The pieces of the stimulus bill include $50 billion for a one time $250.00 payment to receivers of Social Security. What can be done with $250.00 ? Maybe one can see 2 professional sports events. Another $25 billion for a "worker credit" that puts a whopping $13.00 per week for 2 years into the pockets of taxpayers . So why do we need politicians to give us back our own money?

And then there's the "pork". Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid has plans for a high speed rail from Los Angeles to Las Vegas that costs about $4 billion. Talk about a "bridge to nowhere", this train is for losers. "All aboard!" Maybe that's another use for the $250.00. How about "8 the hard way" ?

The stimulus headline crowded out the octuplet fiasco headline. That moron who had 8 additional children to add to the 6 that are hanging around already is certainly doing her part to stimulate demand and contribute to the growth of government spending. She should also contact Bill Gates. He regularly gives out money and help to Africans who routinely have 10 or more children who end up having an additional ten who have additional ten.....

CENTRAL PLANNING IS NOT THE ANSWER.