Confessions Of Citigroup's Robert Rubin

This past Saturdays edition of The Wall Street Journal had an interview with Citigroup's Senior Advisor and Board member Robert Rubin. I obtained an unredacted copy of the interview from a non-Jewish staff member.

WSJ: Good morning Mr.Rubin.

Rubin: My coffee and bagel are cold. Can you freshen them up?

WSJ: Certainly. Can I call you Bob?

Rubin: For now.

WSJ: Since 1999, when you were brought on board at Citigroup by former CEO Sandy Weill, you have pocketed over $200 million in salaries and stock options. During that same time Citigroup's stock has lost over 90% of its value and now teeters on bankruptcy.

Rubin: So?

WSJ: Don't you feel any guilt? Weren't you overpaid when all things are considered?

Rubin: Hey, nobody saw this problem coming.

WSJ: Exactly. That's my point. You got over $200 million in compensation but still classify yourself with all the other "nobodys"that didn't see the financial meltdown coming. So where's the value-added from you ?

Rubin: Are you anti-semitic?

WSJ: No. Actually I'm a Jew but not a filthy Jew.

Rubin: What do you mean by that?

WSJ: Isn't it true that Sandy Weill enlisted your help to drive out of office his non-Jewish, co-Chair and 16 year veteran John Reed in 2000?

Rubin: Reed had thin skin. He had a thing about morals and cleanliness. He was a pushover.

WSJ: How did you help Weill get rid of this responsible man?

Rubin: Well off the record. When morals get in the way of money-making, morals go bye-bye. Anyway back to your question, during the week I would have a butt outside and wait for Reed's limo to pull up. Then I would call Sandy on the cell for the tricks da jour.

WSJ: And?

Rubin: Sometimes Weill would rush to Reeds privy and make a mess and not clean up. Or many times he would replace Reeds wife picture with Sandy's own wifes picture. She looks like Sandy in drag. She makes Greenspan's wife Andrea "Shrink Wrap" Mitchell look like Greta by comparison.

WSJ: Anything else?

Rubin: Yea , I think the last straw was when Reed got a solicitation for a discounted Jewish High- Holidays dog circumcision that was refered to him by Sandy himself . Hey where's my coffee and bagel?

WSJ: Hey Bob, go fuck yourself.

U.S.Affluence Produces Overpaid Executives And Obesity

Last year George Soros took home $2.9 billion. He was only one of many . Many say that sum is excessive. I agree. Last year there were app. 200 million overweight/obese people in America. Many say that sum is excessive. I agree.

Is there a basic reason in U.S. culture that produces both phenomena? Yes there is. It's America's grossly affluent society. In the case of of excessive compensation, the piles of money are available if an executive gives up pursuing or enjoying most every thing else in life. In the case of obese people, an unhealthy lack of physical exercise and over eating the wrong kind of foods while spending time watching TV or playing video games is available because of the relatively small demand put upon people to earn a living. I.E. you can be as lazy as you want if you are willing to give up most every thing else in life.

Our government prints too much money. Money is no substitute for personal effort.