Confessions Of Citigroup's Robert Rubin
WSJ: Good morning Mr.Rubin.
Rubin: My coffee and bagel are cold. Can you freshen them up?
WSJ: Certainly. Can I call you Bob?
Rubin: For now.
WSJ: Since 1999, when you were brought on board at Citigroup by former CEO Sandy Weill, you have pocketed over $200 million in salaries and stock options. During that same time Citigroup's stock has lost over 90% of its value and now teeters on bankruptcy.
Rubin: So?
WSJ: Don't you feel any guilt? Weren't you overpaid when all things are considered?
Rubin: Hey, nobody saw this problem coming.
WSJ: Exactly. That's my point. You got over $200 million in compensation but still classify yourself with all the other "nobodys"that didn't see the financial meltdown coming. So where's the value-added from you ?
Rubin: Are you anti-semitic?
WSJ: No. Actually I'm a Jew but not a filthy Jew.
Rubin: What do you mean by that?
WSJ: Isn't it true that Sandy Weill enlisted your help to drive out of office his non-Jewish, co-Chair and 16 year veteran John Reed in 2000?
Rubin: Reed had thin skin. He had a thing about morals and cleanliness. He was a pushover.
WSJ: How did you help Weill get rid of this responsible man?
Rubin: Well off the record. When morals get in the way of money-making, morals go bye-bye. Anyway back to your question, during the week I would have a butt outside and wait for Reed's limo to pull up. Then I would call Sandy on the cell for the tricks da jour.
WSJ: And?
Rubin: Sometimes Weill would rush to Reeds privy and make a mess and not clean up. Or many times he would replace Reeds wife picture with Sandy's own wifes picture. She looks like Sandy in drag. She makes Greenspan's wife Andrea "Shrink Wrap" Mitchell look like Greta by comparison.
WSJ: Anything else?
Rubin: Yea , I think the last straw was when Reed got a solicitation for a discounted Jewish High- Holidays dog circumcision that was refered to him by Sandy himself . Hey where's my coffee and bagel?
WSJ: Hey Bob, go fuck yourself.
Labels: alan greenspan, andrea mitchell, excessive executive compensation, future of jews, high holidays, john reed, robert rubin, sanford weill, stock market crash, wall street journal citigroup