Brangelina May Separate Twins !

Ah, the life of morons just got more interesting. And so the fans of B- films Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are all a dither by the arrival of the fraternal twins in Nice, France. That's nice. But the $15-20 million bids for exclusive photos of the newborns is shorting- out the meager brains of morons and regular people alike. Rumors of a bootleg "Angelina's contractions" clip are just that.

The cereal-sounding Brangelinas should pause. How about transforming this one-time event into a Brangelina serial about the twins growing up? The potential monetary returns could be enormous if handled correctly. Maybe something that resonates with the unmarried couples international adoption habits. How about separating the twins with one being raised in Africa and the other reared in China. After all the Brangelinas have taken African and Asian children away from those locales. Hey Africans mostly don't bother to marry either. Immitation is the sincerest form of flattery . Just think of the potential. A life-long sequel of the twins growing up . Long term ads, sponsors like the Gates Foundation with their logo on propeller beanies, members of Congress seeking endorsements, Oprah and diaper-changing then potty-training and then guests on the show and ... and... and....

Maybe even the morons would tire of this nonsense and drive down preoccupation with others lives.

Abusive Monkey Experiments: We Should Use Humans Instead

Don't just sit there. Order a pizza, buy something on the Home Shopping Channel, order a movie and USE your credit card.

And so poor macaque monkeys with "their own arms gently restarined" learn to manipulate with only their brain waves which are wired to an artificial limb to grab and eat a marshmallow. The essence of our consumer society is now being delivered to the disabled courtesy of the hapless primate. The report is detailed in the latest edition of the scientific journal Nature.

Why use animals? Haven't we plenty of fat, demented couch potatoes who could be wired similarly? Probably some wouldn't even notice it. Or they would love to expend less energy in grabbing some potato chips and a coke while watching Oprah or some stupid game show. Merely thinking about the mouthful of stuff would be enough.

Our consumption and growth based society need all to participate. We ALL must buy and eat and buy and eat and buy and eat and buy and eat and buy and eat..........