Presidential Medal Of Freedom: Harvey Milk

Yesterday President Obama awarded a Medal of Freedom  to sixteen diverse recipients. Included was San Francisco Supervisor, homosexual activist Harvey Milk who was assassinated in 1978.Milk did much to spread the homosexual movement. Of course HIV/AIDS infections and deaths tracked his questionable "progress" with gruesome statistics.

Nazi Germany targeted homosexuals. America gives homosexuals awards. Neither is appropriate.

San Francisco Bay To Breakers Race: Alternative Reporting

About 70,000 random-urinating runners were in San Francisco's 98th Annual Bay To Breakers yesterday. The smelly majority were joined by what passes for elite dignataries for the 8 mile course. Mayor Gavin Newsom ran alongside Senator Dianne Feinstein. 

There was a group of Central American illegals who gave out free meth. Handicapped were out in force with an estimated 600 wheelchairs. Police and fire crews were accomodative. Maybe because the police and fire crews were all listening to iPods which had recorded memos from their various union steering committees on how they wanted the City to declare bankruptcy before they would give back on wages and benefits. After all the UAW workers at Chrysler are going to own 55% of the company after it emerges from UAW- caused bankruptcy proceedings. The police and fire unions think they can get title to half the City's real estate.

The World Health Organization was busy collecting urine samples off the pavement. The WHO has a thesis that within a few decades the residue of drugs in U.S. urine will contaminate all the groundwater water in the continental U.S. which will necessitate a draining of Lake Victoria and other bodies of water in Africa  to provide drinking water for America.  

On a lighter note, both Newsom and Feinstein were run over and killed by two "Hummer-Class" wheelchairs that were operated by "350-pounders" who were distracted by in route refueling of pizza. Feinstein's husband, Dick Blum retreived the Senators cell phone and credit cards but refused to identify the body. He avoided burial expenses. Newsom's body decomposed so quickly that only a leased pair of shorts from Gordon Getty Enterprises identified his remains.

There were 10 same-sex marriages during the race. But 2 divorces of those same marriages took place before the race could be completed. The Gay,Lesbian,Bisexual and Transgender Association began hurling excrement at the straights who they blamed for the 2 divorces. The straights chanted, " More AIDS, more AIDS" as they headed to the surf to clean up.

President Barack Obama has commited to running next years race. He has not decided whether to represent the secular or the spiritual world.

Mayor Newsom Has Plans For New Child

San Francisco's First Couple have announced they are in a family way. A spokesperson for Gavin and Jennifer Newsom made the public announcement.

In keeping with Gav's antisocial personality and refusing to be bound by the norms of convention, the Mayor's spokeperson held the briefing in a slum part of San Francisco called the Tenderloin at 2 AM early yesterday morning. Here is the announcement.

"Good morning. The Mayor and his wife want the voters of San Francisco and California to know that the couple will have a child. Jennifer and Gavin admit to an artificial insemination procedure . This was a compromise to leaders of the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community who were consulted before the decision by Gavin and Jennifer to have a child. Gays were adamant that the impregnating be done artificially so the icon status of Gav The Liberator would remain intact. This lines up well with Greek mythologys Athena being the Warrior Virgin. The Mayor and his wife have signed a memorandum of understanding with the gay, lesbian,bisexual and transgender community that the child will be raised alternately by nannies and nannos and none of the above. Fondling will be encouraged as a sensitive exposure to other life styles. In a jesture to broaden his political base and reach out to other groups in San Franciscos community, Gavin has promised to include a breakfast with his child to random arrested people the night before although Gav and Jenn will not be there. The childs nursery will have blunted needles from the Citys needle exchange program so the child will know how to cope with a walk in one of the City's parks. The childs name will be New Age. The effort will try to keep the letters in the first name to under 17 but also incude enough references to multicultural voter base. And to sum up the prenatal announcement Gav and Jenn want all to know how grateful they are for the well wishes and that they are discussing a divorce. Thank you and good morning."