San Francisco Bay To Breakers Race: Alternative Reporting

About 70,000 random-urinating runners were in San Francisco's 98th Annual Bay To Breakers yesterday. The smelly majority were joined by what passes for elite dignataries for the 8 mile course. Mayor Gavin Newsom ran alongside Senator Dianne Feinstein. 

There was a group of Central American illegals who gave out free meth. Handicapped were out in force with an estimated 600 wheelchairs. Police and fire crews were accomodative. Maybe because the police and fire crews were all listening to iPods which had recorded memos from their various union steering committees on how they wanted the City to declare bankruptcy before they would give back on wages and benefits. After all the UAW workers at Chrysler are going to own 55% of the company after it emerges from UAW- caused bankruptcy proceedings. The police and fire unions think they can get title to half the City's real estate.

The World Health Organization was busy collecting urine samples off the pavement. The WHO has a thesis that within a few decades the residue of drugs in U.S. urine will contaminate all the groundwater water in the continental U.S. which will necessitate a draining of Lake Victoria and other bodies of water in Africa  to provide drinking water for America.  

On a lighter note, both Newsom and Feinstein were run over and killed by two "Hummer-Class" wheelchairs that were operated by "350-pounders" who were distracted by in route refueling of pizza. Feinstein's husband, Dick Blum retreived the Senators cell phone and credit cards but refused to identify the body. He avoided burial expenses. Newsom's body decomposed so quickly that only a leased pair of shorts from Gordon Getty Enterprises identified his remains.

There were 10 same-sex marriages during the race. But 2 divorces of those same marriages took place before the race could be completed. The Gay,Lesbian,Bisexual and Transgender Association began hurling excrement at the straights who they blamed for the 2 divorces. The straights chanted, " More AIDS, more AIDS" as they headed to the surf to clean up.

President Barack Obama has commited to running next years race. He has not decided whether to represent the secular or the spiritual world.

Mayor Newsom Has Plans For New Child

San Francisco's First Couple have announced they are in a family way. A spokesperson for Gavin and Jennifer Newsom made the public announcement.

In keeping with Gav's antisocial personality and refusing to be bound by the norms of convention, the Mayor's spokeperson held the briefing in a slum part of San Francisco called the Tenderloin at 2 AM early yesterday morning. Here is the announcement.

"Good morning. The Mayor and his wife want the voters of San Francisco and California to know that the couple will have a child. Jennifer and Gavin admit to an artificial insemination procedure . This was a compromise to leaders of the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community who were consulted before the decision by Gavin and Jennifer to have a child. Gays were adamant that the impregnating be done artificially so the icon status of Gav The Liberator would remain intact. This lines up well with Greek mythologys Athena being the Warrior Virgin. The Mayor and his wife have signed a memorandum of understanding with the gay, lesbian,bisexual and transgender community that the child will be raised alternately by nannies and nannos and none of the above. Fondling will be encouraged as a sensitive exposure to other life styles. In a jesture to broaden his political base and reach out to other groups in San Franciscos community, Gavin has promised to include a breakfast with his child to random arrested people the night before although Gav and Jenn will not be there. The childs nursery will have blunted needles from the Citys needle exchange program so the child will know how to cope with a walk in one of the City's parks. The childs name will be New Age. The effort will try to keep the letters in the first name to under 17 but also incude enough references to multicultural voter base. And to sum up the prenatal announcement Gav and Jenn want all to know how grateful they are for the well wishes and that they are discussing a divorce. Thank you and good morning."

2010 California's Governor Race: Romancing The Groin

Who wants to be California's next governor? Well Cal's favorite Jew, Senator Dianne Feinstein has decided to stay in Washington and help Israeli interests. No loss there. But her decision had an immediate effect on the prospects of 2 men who pass for white. Their names are the present California Attorney General Jerry Brown and San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom. The difference between these 2 pols is as thin as the width of toilet tissue. But fag-hag Gavin Newsom has a slight lead with the homosexual crowd in our state.

Well to marginalize that difference, Jerry Brown has decided not to defend the will of the people, who also pay his sorry ass, in the upcoming appeal by the homosexuals against Prop 8 which limited marriage to an actual man and woman. Brown claims an attack of "conscience" for his deriliction of duty. So now the race for Cal's governorship is a race to the groin or if you will who can be a better, quasi- dick-taster so that he may become a better, guasi-dicktator of California's future.

So the campaign could turn bizzarre. How about the candidates visiting the San Francisco General's HIV/AIDS wards to administer daily baths ? What about reliving closet episodes with potential voters? What about the candidates teaching the possibilities of an expanded sexual experience when they talk about homosexual activity to children in school? How about the candidates dismissing HIV/AIDS as a legitimate argument against homosexuality? Come on boys, "In for a penny in for a pound" let's get to the details of groin politics.

AIDS & STD & The Overpopulation Problem

The front page of todays San Francisco Chronicle gushes in anticipation of a possible early start of homosexual marriages in the City . Fag- hag Mayor Gavin Newsom is dutifully trying his best for his impatient glory hole backers in Hollywood. He wants to move the time from June 17 to 5:01 P.M. on June 16. Is this too exciting or what? Ah to be alive and witness these fascinating and wonderful times!

Upon turning the page, the Chronicle carries an article titled "Teen Sex, No Longer Declining". What's more, the details of the piece quotes the Center for Disease Control stats on 1 in 4 teenage girls across all races now have a sexually transmitted disease. That's 25% of the upcoming breeding stock. Also teen pregnancy is on the rise after a decade-long decline. The CDC didn't speculate about the causes for the ominous figures. But the article said experts opined that "complacency about AIDS and changing attitudes about types of sex" were the reasons. AIDS has been sold as a cause celebre because of politicians and Hollywood. Somehow the completely avoidable disease is talked about in terms of bad luck or attacking the poor minorities dispropotinately etc. Anything or any excuse rather than commenting on the poor judgement about what part of the body is to be used for what particular function.

Coincidentally the 25% number also turns up in sub-Sahara Africa. Our black brothers and sister monkeys have an infection of AIDS/HIV at the same percentage of STDs showing up in our teen girls population-25%. The Africans just do what comes naturally. We in the highly "civilized" West change laws so we can sodomize legally . Are we more smart?

We are seeing the future for a mitigation of the human overpopulation problem. It's spelled AIDS and STD. But now the party is beginning. Send out the invitations .Forget about tomorrow. And the children are watching. Newsom's pencil neck is being fitted for a dress shirt and tie instead of a more appropriate public exhibition in stocks fitted for self-made morons.

Mayor Newsom Spends Too Much Time On Wrong Holes

Yesterday Mayor Gavin Newsom squeakly proclaimed from his pencil-neck, " My god, this [same-sex marriage court ruling] is now bigger than San Francisco". The crowd gushed. And so Newsless let slip his personal joy of being freed from the pedestrian jobs of a local mayor. He was back on the national stage. He was "bigger than General Motors".

Hey Newsless, all politics are local. Sure there are many homosexuals in San Francisco. But I wonder how many would rather trade in marriage possibilities for a Golden Gate Park that was not a private reserve for bums? How about fixing holes in the streets instead of right of way for cannubial sodomy or cunnilingus? How about plugging holes in the budget and fixing gaps in sound city business regulations so heterosexuals and homosexuals alike can help plan for a secure future?

Newsless wants to leave this to the next administration. And so it will be left for others to clean up. Just like the spread of AIDS and sexually transmitted diseases will be left to mother nature inspite of Newsless' stamping his foot about discrimination.

Mayor Gavin Newsom & Angela Alioto: Two For The Road

What to do about the "homeless"? Well Angela Alioto, chairwoman of The 10-Year Plan To Abolish Homelessness In San Francisco and Mayor Newsom now want to try old parking meters placed in "homeless' locales. The meters will collect money for worthy homeless charities and discourage people from giving handouts to panhandlers.In the first place "homeless" is a sympton. It's not the problem. The cause of homelessness is either a mental condition or a simple lifestyle choice by some to just go feral.

If the problem is mental then the city can refer to the state law called "Laura's Law" which mandates outpatient treatment and help. Newsom refuses to enforce this statute. Why? Maybe he's a mental case also. If the problem is a lifestyle choice to go feral. Then there are plenty of laws on the books whether they be hygiene related or criminal to use to clear these filthy people out of S.F. Newsom does not enforce those laws either.

When will Newsless and the "Snarling Garlic" do something effective? Maybe they need a "homeless"to sit on their faces to really understand the problem.

Mayor Gavin Newsom: Counterculture Alien

" What kind of government do you have in America?" . It was said that was the first question 19th century Irish immigrants asked when arriving on U.S. soil. And before they got an answer, the Irish immigrant would declare, "Because I'm again' it".

Meet Mayor Gavin Newsom. He's a line-bred hard-headed Irish politician who is pissing on San Francisco and American culture. Undaunted by his homosexual marriage fiasco, he now is now taking the "sanctuary city"status of San Francisco to a new lower level. I.E. despite a weak economy and looming city employee cuts and cuts in services to legal residents and an increase in parking fees and an increase in dining out because of the City's health insurance tax etc. the mayor wants to spend $83,000.00 to reach out to prospective illegals. He will advertise in various languages including, Chinese, Russian, Hispanic, Vietnamese and English what the City has to offer for free and without the worry of being turned into the Federal immigration authorities.

San Francisco is one of the most expensive cities to live. Where will the illegals live and work? The mayor's sense of timing must be making the demcratic leadership in the state and the country very nervous. His homosexual marriage initiative was part of the reason that Bush got elected a second time. Newsom is a much an illegal alien as the folks he invites to come to the city. He doesn't respect the laws and culture of the City and the nation.

I'm reminded of our former Mayor George Moscone, a degenerate also but he was of Italian heritage, and his fate at the hands of assassin Dan White. It was refreshing.

Mayor Newsom & Public Housing: How About A Near-Zoo For Near-Monkeys ?

Never let it be said that our hardheaded- Irishman, Mayor Newsom ever stopped trying. Sure he acts like he never learns but that doesn't stop him from repeating and extending mistakes with gusto. How about yesterday's latest example. He piled 50 S.F. department heads ( all earn over six figures per year) into a Muni bus for a day trip to the blighted Sunnydale Housing Project.

The Mayor was circulating his new idea for Sunnydale and other S.F. housing among the best ,brightest and most overpaid department heads. Gav's new idea wants to " ..treat public housing more like supportive housing for people struggling with homelessness , drug addiction and other problems". He wants on-site counselors, job training services, medical facilities and anything else any of the department heads can think of to add on.

Could this idea also describe a near-zoo-like facility for near-monkey-like residents? By definition, expanding the size and cost of bureaucracies will not solve the problem. Gav's condescension shows his soft bigoted attitude towards public housing residents. If he really wants to help those people then he will have to demand something in return from them so a work ethic and some sort of personal discipline is established. For starters, how about just keeping the place clean? And if they don't then kick them out for being a public health risk and move someone in who will keep the projects tidy.